Archive for the ‘sex tips’ Category
Now we’ve talked about the importance of sexual confidence, but we haven’t really given any steps as to how to achieve it. Now becoming more confident in one area of life can often lead one down the rabbit hole of self-improvement in the general sense. I’m going to try to avoid going too deep into that rabbit hole, but to an extent it is unavoidable. To understand confidence we have to understand the opposite of condidence, insecurity and fear. An important step in establishing sexual confidence (or any confidence for that matter) is the ability to identify your fears and insecurities and then confront and conquer them.Often men try and skip creating these strong sexual foundations by looking up some quick sex or foreplay tip, while they can often get a small short term increase in sexual ability; they will still only be experiencing the tip of the iceberg, as well as only giving his partner the tip of the iceberg.
I’ll go over some of the most common male sex fears. I’ll break them down and give steps to defeating them.
1 – Performance Anxiety
Interestingly enough, the number 1 fear that prevents men from being good in bed is the fear of being bad in bed. This can often be a self-fulfilling prophecy. A man fears being bad in bed, he runs through all the bad scenarios that could happen. He sees in his head the sex being awkward, him being clumsy. Is it any surprise that this what he ends up doing? If this is one of your fears here’s a simple exercise for you. Next time you get the bad images occurring in your head, you see yourself messing up, etc; I want you to stop yourself, realize what you’re doing and then change the script. I want you to picture victory instead of failure, dominance over anxiety. Picture you ravaging her with lust, her getting off over and over again. Picture yourself using some of the techniques on this website, then use them!
2- Fear of comparison
Maybe you fear (or know) that you can’t compare sexually to one of her previous sexual partners. Knowing that your woman has had mind-blowing sex with another man can be a rough pill to swallow for some. I’d like to demonstrate a remedy from a personal example. I remember the last time I had trouble with the fear of comparison. I was visiting my girlfriend while she had some of her girlfriends over. They were discussing the hottest men in Hollywood. I knew my girlfriend was a big fan of Johnny Depp. One of the girlfriends brought up Johnny Depp and my girlfriend said “Who would there even be without Johnny Depp?” and then she said “Hugh Jackman, that’s who.” “Great” I thought, now I have to compare myself to Johnny Depp and Hugh Jackman? Then I had a realization, I realized that if she were with Johnny Depp, Hugh Jackman wouldn’t be any less appealing or attractive. You becoming more attractive does not make other men less attractive. The opposite is also true, Hugh Jackman being really attractive, doesn’t make you any less. There is nothing anybody can do about this, except accept this fact and move on. There comes a point where you need to stop being insecure about being compared to great men, and accept your rank amongst them.
3- Penal fears
I’m going to lump together two different fears. I’m also only going to go over them very briefly because they both have their own articles coming very soon. The two fears are fear of premature ejaculation and the fear of having a small penis. Now premature ejaculation can be conquered either mentally or physically, preferably both. But I can guarantee any man who suffers from P.E. that the more they worry about it the more it will destroy them. There are ways to physically fight P.E. there are a variety of exercises one can use to strengthen the P.C. muscle and gain control over ejaculation. However P.E. is much like fear of performance anxiety. When a man sees it in his head over and over again, he fulfills it.
The idea of having a penis that is too small can be absolutely crippling to a man. How else could Extenze stay in business? Because men fearing their penis is too small is a very real and widespread fear. Again, there are mental and physical ways of fighting this fear. There are sexual positions that having a smaller penis gives you an advantage to stimulating a woman. Again, like with the fear of performance anxiety the more you worry about it, the more you picture it beating you up, the more it will. One of the biggest advantages a well-endowed man has over an average sized man is the original sense of sexual confidence. A well-endowed man is excited to use his large member, he becomes to busy thinking about delivering mind blowing pleasure (a self fulfilling prophecy regardless of size) that he does. Where an average man hesitates, the well-endowed man is instilled with confidence. Once you realize that a big member actually enhances sexual performance because of how it influences the man mentally, you can create that confidence regardless of your size, you can create that mental imagery of dominating a woman you can share that excitement for sex, you can eliminate the common fears; and experience the same results regardless of size.
Now I’ve already written about how essential it is to understand and be able to stimulate a woman emotionally, mentally, and psychologically. However I haven’t really gone into any detail as how to actually do that. Or how to use it as a sex or foreplay tip. One of the secrets lies within this post, I say secret but it is actually ironically obvious. The secret is, talk to her. Think about it. how do you connect with anyone whether it is emotional or not? Speech. Humans are wired to have emotional responses to the noises and words that we hear; if you get yelled at you have an emotional response, if someone is crying on your shoulder you have an emotional response. I can make you mad by saying things that would make you mad, I can make you happy by saying things that would make you happy. Saying things that turn women on is no different. Words are very effective; why do you think year after year romance novels fly off the shelf into the hands of women? Because they crave that emotional and psychological stimulation. Your words can be like a romance novel, you just need to understand the language and the mechanics.
Now obviously if you wanted to make somebody angry you couldn’t walk up to them and say “get really angry with me!” you would have to say things that trigger that emotion, say something that causes them to go into an angry state of mind. The same is also true for emotional arousal, you can’t go up to a woman and say “get really turned on by me.” You have to say things to make them aroused; you have to put them in a state of arousal. If this is a new concept to you then I don’t want you to try and put them in a state of arousal with your words alone just quite yet. It is much easier to learn this concept by using it in action when you and your partner are getting intimate. While you touch her, kiss her, etc she is going into a state of arousal, which can act as a springboard for you to psychologically stimulate her. When the girl is becoming aroused you just need to vocally, get her to acknowledge and focus on those feelings. An example would be when you’re touching you say something along the lines of
“You like it when I touch you like that? I know you do, you like the feeling of (describe whatever you’re doing to her) you like that feeling as I (whatever you’re doing) you. And as I do this (amp the intensity of whatever you’re doing) you can feel that feeling getting stronger, and stronger, and stronger, and stronger, as you feel it melt all throughout your body.” This is a form of NLP, neuro-linguistic programming it is essentially understanding how the brain responds to and breaks down language.
Here is a live example of the father of seduction Ross Jefferies using NLP to turn a woman on.
This concept of language is typically very foreign to men. But it is imperative that you learn to utilize your words in this manner. Now of course your frame of mind and vocal projection are very important. Notice how Ross speaks deeply, and most importantly slowly. He speaks slowly to build anticipating and to allow the woman to go deep into her emotions and to be able to absorb everything he is saying to the fullest. That is a basic example of one way to turn a woman on psychologically, it can be used during sex or foreplay try it out tonight, and share your results! If you want to learn more about NLP (I highly recommend it) then here is an excellent book to teach you what NLP is as well as give you a good insight and understanding of NLP’s practical utilizations. Click here to check it out.
Every man can share one experience in regards to women. I believe every man has seen a smoking hot girl with some ugly, fat man and thought, “How the hell did that happen?” Many guys are puzzled at this phenomenon; the reason for their bewilderment is the fact that guys are so attracted and lured in by the external that it is hard for them to imagine that women aren’t wired the same way. In reality women aren’t nearly attracted to external as men, they are more attracted to confidence, assertiveness, humor, self-worth all of which are internal qualities. This blog does not exist to teach you how to pick up women; but these rules apply to sex as much as they do seduction. (for more info on seduction visit the resources section)
I was recently spending time with one of my closest female friends. She was telling me about the things her new boyfriend did in bed. None of them were positive. Now the sex wasn’t “bad” per-se but it definitely wasn’t good, and she definitely wasn’t having orgasms. We even joked about me hiding under the bed so I could pop out and give him pointers (poor guy). I’ll give you a rundown on some of his mistakes.
- Would ask logical questions during sex. “How is that?”
- Question himself and her during sex. “Do you actually like having sex with me?”
- Generally being unconfident
All of these things scream “I am not confident” “I am not worthy.” “I am internally weak.” And are very big turn offs to women. Had he been able to turn off his thoughts, strip himself of his insecurities and just enjoyed the moment unconditionally, the sex would have increased by 100%. Now last week we talked about how men don’t value the emotional and mental aspect of sex in regards to women. Today I want to talk about how we don’t take care of ourselves mentally and emotionally in regards to sex. Because men have an obsession and focus on the external, they don’t even pause to look at how their lack of internal game is affecting their sex lives. Even worse, they don’t even know that they are supposed to! Most men are completely clueless to the fact that they even have “internal game” let alone know what to do with it or how to fix it. It doesn’t matter how long you can go, what kind of crazy sex position you can pull off, if you have a weak and insecure frame of mind the sex will be bad. 90% of what we say comes from our body language, and I’m willing to bet that nearly the entire 95% of men who are mediocre or worse in bed have mediocre or worse sexual body language. They are worried or thinking about what she will think if they do this or that? This is one of the root causes of poor sexual body language. It comes from fear, and insecurity. Insecurity leads to questioning themselves, which leads to fear and nervousness. Woman want to be fucked by a man who isn’t afraid to show his animal lust and who won’t be afraid theirs, not a boywho questions himself every step of the way. One of the keys to obtaining good sexual body language is learning how to turn off conscious thought and exist only in the feeling of the moment, to free yourself from your inhibitions, and experience every sexual sensation to the fullest.
I’d like for you to consciously think about what internal and mental processes occur within you during sex. Think about how this could affect your sexual body language. Are your thoughts causing you to freeze up, and act with fear? Or do your thoughts generate such sexual excitement that you feel like you can barely hold yourself back? We will be going into this topic further shortly so I’d like for you to analyze yourself so you can take full advantage of our next article.
Sex is an extremely powerful facet of human emotion. Like any emotion it all takes place in your brain. Think about that for a second, it all takes place in your brain. When you hit your thumb with a hammer, signals are shot up to your brain and back and then your BRAIN says “OW!”. Sex, while mostly regarded as physical is in fact extremely emotionally and psychologically stimulating. The difference can be seen when you compare masturbating with having sex with a beautiful woman. Both provide that physical stimulation, but only one stimulates the mind.
One cannot become sexual master without understanding and utilizing the power of stimulating the mind during sex. This concept if very intuitive to women but very foreign to men. In fact it is one of the biggest reasons why so many men are clueless to their inadequacy in bed. When one compares a man who can stimulate a woman psychologically during sex to a man who cannot, one can see that they are on completely different playing fields. What’s worst is that the man who is not stimulating the woman mentally and emotionally doesn’t even know that he’s supposed to. This man is one of the 97% of men who thinks he is “the man” in bed but in reality is a dud.
Most men do not realize that is doesn’t matter how fast you pump, how hard you pump, how big your dick is. If you are not stimulating them psychologically then you are barely scratching the surface of pleasure that you could both be experiencing. Not only do most men fail to realize this, but most sex books do as well. Most sex books talk about sex positions, fun and new activities, give plenty of sex and foreplay tips, and offer several different mindsets to use in the bedroom. While all of these are important (in fact they are essential) and will increase your sexual performance, eventually you performance will hit a wall or plateau.
Let’s take man out of the equation for a second and take a look at the sex toy industry. There are piles upon piles of sex toys, from vibrators, dildos, vibrator/dildos, pocket rockets, shockers, eggs, clamps, etc. While these are fun it is not what women crave. Women want sex, good sex; offer them the choice between a mind blowing sexual encounter with a man, or an all night party with every sex toy you can imagine. The man wins hands down. While the man pales in technical skill when compared to what the toys and machines can do, the man can offer something no machine can, psychological stimulation. Technical skill only matters up to a point, once you hit that point no sex or foreplay tip or trick can help you, you must take the leap to start understanding and mastering psychological stimulation.
Stimulating a woman psychologically is not something that typically comes naturally to most men. While stimulating the mind is an art by itself, it does spill into physical sex. For example oral sexerotic massage are other ways to begin bridging the gap between physical and emotional. is more intimate and thus emotionally stimulating than finger play. Teasing and
97% of men think that they have good sexual skills and do not need sex or foreplay tips; but when women are anonymously polled the numbers show a completely different picture. While 97% of men think they are good at sex and foreplay in reality the number of men who are good in bed is much closer to 5%.
Yes 97% of men think they have good sex and foreplay skills, but only 5% of them actually do. That is why this site exists; to enable all men who want to be “that guy”. The fact that you are reading this proves that you wish to become a better lover. This alone puts you ahead of the curve, and we hope to help take you the rest of the way. This site is dedicated to help men everywhere attain sexual mastery.
We wish to teach not only sexual fundamentals but also to give you a large bedroom arsenal full of excellent sex and foreplay tips. If this is your first time visiting our site, we recommend that you read these posts first.
(Disclaimer: In many of my posts and elsewhere on this site there will be links to amazon products, typically related to the subject of content. If you buy there, I will receive compensation. I will recieve a small commission for the sale.)
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1) I’ll make a little bit of money (and believe me I mean a little bit)
2) If you are furtherer interested in whatever the subject was, I want to point you in the right direction of getting a product that isn’t total B.S. We both know that there is alot of crap out there, on the internet and elsewhere. I want to be able to put up a sign that says “DING DING DING!!! This one doesn’t suck.”